Not-so-first First Day

Bye, World.

Nah kidding. I just want to say that line, because it is kinda cool one to be said like in the television hahaha but surely part of this mind already leaving this world. I don't find any thing interests me anymore. My first day on new term would explain well. Before, i really love study and learn new things but today i don't feel any excitement over the given course. Next, i thought by talking to other people would relieve your anxiety but nay, it doesn't do any good either.

It is just weird that i am losing interest to everything. Watching movies & series, playing games (You don't know how much i love this habit before losing interest), listening to music, drawing, browsing, stalking people on social media (probably), joining competition, shopping, looking for an update information on management things, talking to people, reading. Literally, every things are not interesting anymore.

I don't know what i am doing either. I am just waiting, waiting until everything changes. I know i am no in right position to whine, but hell, it's been years. I am tired of waiting and trying. Could just some miracle happen to me right away? At least, it doesn't have to be miracle, just something that make me interested. It doesn't feel good to have interest to nothing.

Is there really a way to go back to normal? For years, things have been so crazy. Day by day i believe a little less, i believe myself was never enough to do anything, i believe that i do not have that best friend or trusted people anymore. I also believe heart was just very stupid thing to be heard. I believe waking up early is not priority anymore. Though they are false belief but i couldn't find the evidence to believe the other side.