Note for End-of-April

Seeing people, especially you care so much, changing into better people and having big dreams is quite good view. Grateful for they are able to know what to pursue in the future and have something to hold on even the whole world is falling apart. It is just a nice scenery.

I'd wish that i would have something the same like them.

Anyway i rarely took a note about myself anymore. I am quite get overwhelmed by things happened recently. I don't know, i thought i can handle them but seems everything is out of my control. I just do not know what may happen in the next time, i am just clueless about everything, i don't even know what i truly want right now. More time passed by, i am getting more afraid to know people. I feel that the more i know about people, the more myself estranged. I am surrounded by my best friends yet i feel being stranger to them. Sometimes i just want to be away from them not because they do not treat me well, but because i am not better for them. But just how to walk away without being noticed? And i do not know but i am considering to start hating myself for not being able to overcome everything. Geez, recently i am just surviving not living anymore.

I am trying to solve things, but none of them were worked. So i stopped.
Do i have to try again?

Ambicobs

Errid - Tria - Naufalia - Gregy
Deya - Kemal

This photo was taken in purpose to compare it in 2 years later when we are going to graduate. We want to see if there is any difference or not between today and the next 2 years. Will it remain the same until 2 years later? Only God Knows.

It always were people's expectation that led me up to this point. It always were his expectation, her expectation, their expectation and everyone's expectation that led up to this point. And someday you have to find by yourself what do you really want to do, then got confused, because all the time of your life was just following other people's expectation and you can't decide it what do you really want to do. 

So, tell me if you know what to do in your life? 

Because, i'm afraid what i am going to do is just another escape, won't make everything better.