Emotionless

So this is how it feels to be emotionless. You don't feel happy toward something you will be happy if you're normal human, you don't feel anything toward something you should feel normally. I keep wasting my time never get out of my bed. I don't know whether i am waiting for miracle or it's just that i am wasting the time. I mean like nothing is possible anymore, nothing will make good. I am done with myself, i can't hope on myself anymore to have self-motivation. No escape would do good to me either. Maybe it's better to fade away.

Though i am being emotionless, i still can feel one or two emotions. They are sadness and disappointment. Toward me, of course. I am sad and disappointed for who i am right now. Maybe some peoples are kind of disappointed for ever having me in their life. I am sad because i can't feel other emotions anymore, my friend just had met with someone and they're so clicked yet i can't express my happiness toward them.

I wish quitting was easy. But i am trapped. I can't move. I'm dying. I want to ask for help, but i don't even know what help i really need. Whether somebody pull me into their arms or somebody stab me. I don't even know which one is better.

Really, is there any way to get through these?