The phlegmatic personality is low-key, easygoing and relaxed. They are patient, well-balanced and calm. They usually have a consistent and well-balanced lifestyle. While they are quiet, they are also possess a witty sense of humor. They are sympathetic and kindhearted. They are content in almost any surrounding or circumstance and go with the flow of life. They have a calming disposition in times of trouble. They are not open about their emotions and are not quick to express their true feelings -- mainly because they do not want to hurt another's feelings. They do not like feeling vulnerable by exposing their own thoughts without trusting first.
The phlegmatic will take time for others and is not hurried. They are very patient with children and make wonderful parents. They can take the good with the bad and do not easily become upset. They are competent, steady, peaceful and agreeable. They oftentimes possess excellent administrative ability. They are natural born mediators and work well under pressure.
In a group setting, they are easy to get along with. They are excellent listeners with a dry sense of humor. They enjoy watching people and oftentimes have many friends. People are naturally drawn to them because of their accepting, easygoing nature. All-in-all, every group and every family would benefit from the stabilizing force of at least one phlegmatic!
If you have two phlegmatics in a house that caught fire they would each wait it out to see who gets off the couch first to call the fire department! If you have two phlegmatics on a working committee with a deadline approaching they would have difficulty deciding what needs to be done and both would avoid discussing the matter hoping it will go away. A phlegmatic group needs the leadership of a strong choleric or a fussy melancholy. A phlegmatic person is the only type of personality that will tolerate these strong temperaments anyway. (The good thing is we are all a blend of temperaments to balance us all out!)
A phlegmatic temperament, in spite of the many wonderful characteristics can have its downside, like every temperament. They can be unenthusiastic and do not get revved up very easily. That can be very frustrating to the fireball, changeable sanguine temperament -- even though the balance of the phlegmatic is is exactly what a sanguine temperament needs.
A phlegmatic can become addicted to worry. They need assurance. They can be resistant to change and that can make them indecisive and insecure in decision making. They need a lot of encouragement, even though they appear secure and confident. Remember that they do not openly express their fears or their feelings. Be sensitive with a phlegmatic. Be as kind and considerate to them as they will be to you.
Depending on how strong the phlegmatic tendencies are, they will avoid taking on any more responsibility than needed. Again, they need to be encouraged to take on responsibility because they are very capable. Encourage and praise them.
Do not be totally fooled by their easygoing nature. They can possess a quiet will of iron that is as immovable as a rock. They can be very stubborn and never admit it. They can be self-righteous and a little selfish at times. They will try to place decision making responsibilities onto others. They can be judgmental, sarcastic, and teasing.
They have difficulty setting goals and can lack self-motivation. They can be difficult to get moving and they deeply resent being pushed. They would much rather watch than be the active participant.
If you are blessed with a phlegmatic child, realize that they need direct and positive motivation. Do not expect them to respond in immediate enthusiasm. It is not part of their nature. Instead of pushing or judging, help them set goals and provide them with benchmark rewards.
While you may need to force a phlegmatic person to make a decision out of necessity, do not push them to make a decision and then blame them if it does not work out. This is very detrimental to a phlegmatic's self-esteem. They have a sensitive ego, but they will never let you see that you have hurt it. Remember that their quiet easygoing temperament makes them easy targets. Be careful not to take advantage of them.
In conflict, do not accept their first "no", but continue to show them the confidence you have in their ability to lead or make sound decisions once motivated. Give them time and a little space to adjust to new changes and provide them with information and encouragement to help them sort through decisions. Appreciate their kind and even disposition. Appreciate that they will not make hasty decisions and have excellent, well-balanced problem solving abilities.
Treat a phlegmatic individual very, very nice. They are a gift. As a matter of fact, every individual is a unique and special gift! As in all temperaments, be accepting of differences and appreciate our unique individualities. Learn to accept the good with the bad in oneself as well as in others. Lighten up on yourself as well as on others. Life is short and relationships are a major and necessary part of a richness in life.
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